she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize