saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
