can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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