How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
