I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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