You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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