clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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