i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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