I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
