Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize