I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
