whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
