I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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