Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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