i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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