Plan B is the new Plan A
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
