thus making me awesome and them whores
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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