Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
