tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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