I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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