if you like me you must not know who I am
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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