I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
