is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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