does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
