smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
