I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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