i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
so much tequila, so little girl.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
