He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
