i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize