U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
