just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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