I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
