I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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