lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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