addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Damn victory sex feels great
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
