I got chris browned last night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
