oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
