I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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