Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
