she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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