I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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