Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
