did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
