Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
