No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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