eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
