If i come over, it means nothing
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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