How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
