Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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