are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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