yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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