He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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