in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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