Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How naked do you want me to be?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
