You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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