I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?