Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need to sanitize my soul.