ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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