thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
