there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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