what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
